The Eurovision 2018 Review: Day 38

Welcome to S Week on Whoops Dragovic. Well, almost a week. Three days in and three more to go for Eurovision’s most prolific initial (even moreso when Slovakia’s playing). We hope you’re having a lovely time anyway.

Today it’s Slovenia’s turn. Feel a bit sorry for them. That’s because three years ago they came up with Here For You from Maraaya, the most gloriously soulful pop song to enter Eurovision since Germany’s Ein Lied Kann Brucke Sein in 1975, wedging it firmly in my all-time Top Five. So that means any Sloven entry trailing in its wake does fall short when I’m casting a critical ear. It’s so naughty of me. I must stop.

This year, it’s Lea Sirk with Hvala, Ne! In my head I keep singing it to the hook line of Croatia ’97 but this is very foolish behaviour on my part. It’s more experimental than that, basically a musical sequence which serves as intro, chorus and motif and sounds strangely familiar. It’s certainly got life beyond Lisbon in the background of hundreds of TV adverts. Added to that is Lea with some chanty lyrics and swing your pants dancers which make this probably the most contemporary offering at this year’s competition.

Modern is good at Eurovision, even a bit sexy and voteable if you do it right. But there’s something in this which seems so calculated and void of charisma that it’s very difficult to love. It’s like looking at a burger on a plate and thinking it must taste especially scrum but when you pick it up you realise it’s been in the fridge for three hours and you plop it straight in the bin instead. No, I’m not sure that metaphor made sense either.

It’s still too soon after Maraaya for me. I’m getting a funky ice queen with boss hair but all I really want is a redhead in a wedding dress with matching Dr Dre’s and someone next to her pretending they haven’t lost their fiddle. I need to move on, I really do. Maybe next year.

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