It used to be that the Venn diagram of Eurovision fans overlapped into a generous canoe-shaped pool of lovers Contest and Doctor Who.
While that’s still the case, there’s another cultural phenomenon threatening to push Jo, Ace and Sarah Jane into the background. Ru Paul’s Drag Race.
And if there’s one song in the 2018 line-up which brings the Race to mind, it’s this one. I’ll tell you why – but you’ll need to watch this video first.
You see that moment at two minutes and 19 seconds? For the life of me, I can’t watch it without thinking of Season 8 contestant Ginger Minj talking about flooding her basement. So anyway, there’s me ruining that bit of the song for you too. I’m kind like that.
Untucked japes aside, there’s not a lot of fun to be had with La Forza. Take away the big show-offy dress and what remains is a generic opera thingy which drags itself through the libretto equivalent of treacle from start to finish.
It’s a prime example of how the show at Eurovision can trick people into voting what’s not deserving of a trophy in a song contest. Granted, Elina is shaping up to be Tallin’s rootingest, tootingest noteslinger but the only damage she’s going to do with La Forza is have her opponents snoozing into their Tizer come semi-final night. Granted, that’s only a given if the fuse goes on her dress.
We are brought to mind of a similar situation in 2011 when certain Euro fans were scraping the sweat from their brow with those handily placed accreditation passes after the first rehearsal of France’s Sognu, This was another tour-de-force that was more force than fun. Paris 2012 was a certainty (where have we heard that before?) until it, well, wasn’t.
Estonian telly could well have to brace itself for the same thing happening in Lisbon. While Salvador’s winner last year had a unique romance to it, creating a defining three minutes in Contest history, this simply can’t. Whereas the title holder has enough romance in it to keep Mills & Boon going beyond the point of natural heat death, La Forza is all about the technicalities. It doesn’t want you to love it, it wants you to be impressed by it. And nobody really loves a show-off, as any Veruca Salt or Carmelita Spats will tell you in their more honest moments.
Mind you, one good thing will come of this. Estonian TV will never be short of the EBU’s most impressive corporate Christmas tree for as long as they can hang that frock up in the foyer.
You’re still thinking of Ginger Minj, aren’t you?